“This Ramadan is not like the others…”
When I was 21, I had my Best Ramadan Ever - it was sweet, energetic and intense in worship. I wanted to recreate it and make it even better the next year. However, I went through a test and I was broken. Ramadan was filled with grief and trying to hold on to hope. The two Ramadans were very different.
We tend to measure how well our Ramadan is going by a previous Ramadan or what we think we should be doing. We can then become disheartened and discouraged because it is not measuring up to what we think it should be.
But that is a distraction. If we conceive of Ramadan as a gift from the One who knows us best, we can also realize that we can make the most of it where we are. And that is what is beloved to Him.
Some of us might be parents having to care for young children, or caring for elderly parents. Perhaps we are ill. Maybe we are going through a test and are desperately trying to see an opening. It might be that we have mounting responsibilities at work. All of these seem to get in the way of what we imagine should be a great Ramadan.
Ramadan comes every year at its time and not according to our schedule. It teaches us to worship Allah where we are, and in all the diverse ways that we can. Perhaps we have different Ramadans because Allah is teaching us that the roads to Him are many, and what matters is the effort we put into doing what He loves.
Allah is al-Fattah and al-Shakur. Al-Fattah opens what is closed, and perhaps He is opening a door of worship you never thought to walk through. Perhaps your inability to recite as much Qur’an means you focus more on your intention and remembrance throughout the day. Or the fact that you cannot fast shifts you towards Qur’an reflection and helping others with their fast.
Al-Shakur appreciates even the small and He loves our efforts. The reading and reflecting on the Qur'an, the supplication, generosity, remembrance, patience, magnanimous character, and charity is loved by Him because of our effort, even if little.
It could be that the Ramadan that is not the 'best' is the greatest Ramadan in the eyes of Allah because of our exertion in what we could do and intention to do what is more, and not the Ramadan that we did much and became complacent due to it.
Allah’s doors are open for us to go through running, walking or even crawling. The crucial thing is to focus on what is possible, rather than to lament what is not. And to take that step, no matter how small.